


Baby it's Cold Outside

by Caitlin_WithanI



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22477291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitlin_WithanI/pseuds/Caitlin_WithanI
Summary: What if alpha/beta/omega dynamics met the Terror before it goes bad and Fitzjames really likes Crozier and they get their chance to get together?
Relationships: Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames, John Bridgens/Harry Peglar, Thomas Blanky/Dr Alexander McDonald, Thomas Jopson/Lt Edward Little
Comments: 15
Kudos: 56





	1. He's a Ponce

Captain Crozier was considerably lucky in his life, even though he was reluctant to accept so. He was a respected Captain, one who definitely deserved the rank he held, highly intelligent and quick on his feet. He had friends who cared deeply for him, Sir James Ross and Thomas Blanky, despite how much of a bastard he could be at times. His men trusted him and respected him, despite what he was. 

Not that he was anywhere near the only omega amongst either crews, but he was certainly the highest ranking. He prided himself on that. Being both Irish and an omega had led people to assume he wouldn’t be capable of much except at most a steward’s role, but he had proven time and again that he was certainly worth more and had earned his captaincy from the very reluctant Navy. Ross had been so proud, and it had certainly warmed Francis’ heart to know that he had someone who cared about, and loved him enough, to celebrate his successes, as well as be there to mourn his losses. 

Not that any of that seemed to matter out here in the cold barren wastelands of the north. As far as Sir John cared he was a brutish Irishman who needed to be brought back to an English sense of decency and decorum. Sir John ignored his second gender entirely, the man being a beta himself never seemed to care about anything beyond himself, and as long as they remained in open water it could remain that way. 

Thomas nudged him out of his musings, bringing him back firmly to the top deck of the Terror. He could feel the concern coming in waves from his friend, but he turned into the cold breeze, relishing the fresh comfort it brought him, before facing Thomas. 

‘How ya feeling Francis?’ Francis laughed, unsurprised at Tom question.

‘Am fine, Tom, few days left yet. Nothing to worry about.’ His friend nodded before looking towards the Erebus thoughtfully, ‘Don’t even think bout saying what yer thinking Tom.’ Tom laughed.

‘It is a possibility; one I know you’ve thought bout.’ Francis shook his head, pushing Toms shoulder hard, who to his irritation continued laughing at him. 

‘Not that he’d even want to, but I don’t want that narcissistic fop anywhere near me.’

‘It’ll be hard, Francis, worse than your last one.’ Francis sighed, he knew Tom was right, his last heat had been truly awful but being on suppressants did that. ‘Besides, we need to talk to Sir John about the ice, we shouldn’t continue on or we’ll freeze in.’ 

‘We have a meeting later for that, it might be sensible to winter in a safe bay for the sake of the heats anyway. Not that Sir John’s gonna give a toss about that.’ This meeting was gonna be a nightmare and Francis could already feel a headache coming on. 

\--------

Sitting in the wardroom waiting for a fight was exactly what Francis had planned for but actually sitting there just made him feel tired. There was a mix of alphas and betas amongst the high-ranking members of both Terror and Erebus, with only himself and Lieutenant Irving being omegas. Francis was almost zoned out of Sir Johns religious ramblings when the ponce himself spoke up. 

‘I think it would be more sensible to find another cove to weather the winter in, Sir John.’ Francis really hoped his surprise wasn’t showing on his face. ‘It’s proving to be much colder this year and with the heats coming up as well as some issues with the food being pointed out, we should not go too far in case disaster should strike and we must return to re-provision the ships.’ 

The room was entirely silent, and the look of Sir John’s face was the most beautiful thing Francis had ever seen, and he could almost hear Tom thinking the same thing. He was Sir John’s little 'third-in-command', who had basically been adopted into the family with how much of a suck-up he was, was completely disagreeing with Sir John’s plans. It was amazing and Francis was going to ignore how it made his insides twist in pleasure. 

‘We on Terror agree with Commander Fitzjames, the ice is pack ice the kind that hasn’t melted or thawed in a long time. We shouldn’t go any farther until we can determine that we would actually make it anywhere before getting frozen in.’ Tom was quick to jump in, and probably right that he did and not Francis, God knows Sir John would feel he was being hysterical. Erebus’ own Ice Master spoke up his agreement with Tom, and both Drs McDonald and Stanley agreed that taking a break would be better for the heats, than having the ship need all men present by continuing. 

They all waited with bated breath as Sir John silently thought it over. Francis only hoped the man would listen to sense rather than ignore the fact that everyone in the room agreed with Fitzjames. At long last, he let out a defeated sigh.

‘It seems that I cannot fight such strong evidence and logic, James. We shall make for the small harbour we spotted off the Boothia Peninsula and start settling down and preparing for winter.’ With that, they were dismissed, and Francis was determined to get away before he opened his mouth and ruined it. He was stopped with a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Fitzjames smiling at him. 

‘I wondered if I might have a word with you, Francis?’ He nodded sharply and followed Fitzjames to his berth, ignoring Tom’s silent question and suggestive expression. The room was the same size as Francis’ berth on Terror, big enough for two people stood close together and no more. 

Fitzjames gestured for Francis to sit on his bed and he did reluctantly, not wanting to be looked down upon by the pretentious alpha. He was surprised to see Fitzjames take a seat on the floor beneath him so that it was he looking down at the other man. 

‘I just wanted to know how you feel about what I said, you were quiet in the meeting?’ The question was a surprise as well, he assumed that Fitzjames care about his own self-image but not about Francis’ opinion of his suggestions. 

‘I agreed with what you said completely. It was what I had planned to say, but I imagine Sir John is more likely to listen to you on it than me so it’s for the best.’ He didn’t like how Fitzjames was looking at him, did he not want him to agree with him?

‘Your opinion matters a great deal, Francis, you are Sir John’s second, I’m sure he would listen as much to you as me. I would have agreed and defended you had you spoken first.’ He’d never seen Fitzjames look so serious and intense and again it was making him feel things that he was trying to ignore. 

He stood abruptly, shocking Fitzjames into standing too. ‘I should go, I shouldn't keep Blanky from his evening grog.’ Before he calmly left (he definitely did not flee because that is ungentlemanly and undignified).


	2. Together (But Probably Not)

It was a few days before they reached the harbour, and although it was late September, the cold was already setting in. Francis had informed the men of the winter plans the day after the meeting and he could feel the relief of the men at the fact they were going to shelter through the winter again. 

Now was the time for preparation, of both food and water stocks as well as what was happening with the heats. It was Francis’ least favourite navy thing, but he understood the importance that both omega’s and alphas got a break from their suppressants every year or two. As they had already gone through the process once before, they had an idea of what was going to happen. Men who were happy to spend their heats together applied as such, and anyone planning to go alone had to report to the ships doctor. 

Most of the beta’s aboard would cover the necessary work over the heat period like taking down the sails and manning the water holes. Francis knew he could trust these men and was glad that Tom would help oversee things. Even though Tom was an alpha, being late in his prime and happily bonded meant his ruts didn’t affect him as strongly, sometimes barely coming on at all, so he was happy to keep watch over things while Francis couldn’t. 

Heats were always tough for Francis, always too headstrong and volatile for an omega he never quite appealed enough to anyone, so his heats were spent sweating it out alone and in pain. Not that he cared much, he wasn’t the type to roll over and be controlled by someone else. And if that made him feel lonely then he just ignored that feeling and got on with things. 

Tom always offered, of course. Francis knew his friend cared deeply for him, and he knew Tom’s mate was fine with it, but he could never muster the courage to agree. 

It was late, Francis was approving applications for couples who were on different ships, Harry Peglar unsurprisingly asking to join his mate, John Bridgens, over on Erebus. Francis always liked those two, not that he’d ever say so aloud, but he thought they made a very sweet pair. Tom was napping in the chair across from him, a blanket caring tucked around him by a smiling Jopson hours earlier. 

Francis had been very surprised when Lieutenant Little had come to him for permission to spend his rut with Jopson. Even more surprised to see Jopson hovering in the doorway behind him, fear on his face. When he’d asked to speak to Jopson a moment, Little had nodded in defeat before leaving. Jopson, of course, had immediately started speaking;

‘I am very sorry sir, of course, it would be inappropriate to ask, Lieutenant Little should not be spending it with someone so below his rank. I never should have said anything. Very sorry.’ Then he’d turned and almost ran from the room, but Francis had been quicker, grabbing his arm and stopping him in his tracks. 

‘You misunderstand Jopson, I just wanted to make sure this was what you wanted. That Lieutenant Little wasn’t forcing you into anything,’ Jopson’s eyes had gone wide, quick in trying to defend the other man, ‘but, I see that it is wanted both ways, so of course you can spend your heat with Lieutenant Little.’ Jopson had sagged in relief and Francis couldn’t stop himself from pulling his steward into a tight hug. 

‘You didn’t need my approval, Thomas, but I can see you wanted my acceptance. And you have it, you always will.’ He’d spoken the words so quietly, but he knew Jopson had heard him when the other man tightened his grip just a little more. ‘Now on you go and inform Little before he paces a grove in the hallway.’ He’d smiled and Jopson had beamed his joy back at him. 

‘Thank you, sir.’ Then he’d rushed out of the room, grabbing Little on his way and disappearing. 

He cared for Jopson a lot, the only time he felt anything close to his omega side was when he was looking at Jopson and the man he’d become. He treated him like a son, and Blanky told him time and again that attachments like that wouldn’t end well, but for Francis, it was his only attachment, so he held on to it like a lifeline sometimes.

Francis smiled at the memory, before looking back at the forms he was signing. He got through a couple more before his loud exclamation woke Tom. Spluttering in surprise Tom looked over at Francis, who’d gone deathly pale and was shaking. 

‘Francis, fuck me, are you alright?’ He went over and took the page out of his friend’s hand, ‘Wha’ does Fitzjames wanna be on Terror for?’

‘His rut I would imagine.’ Francis muttered quietly. He was loath to admit it, but he held a lot of strong feeling for James Fitzjames, anger and lust being the main two. He kept them all to himself though, just acted like he disliked the man and balled up his feelings deep inside. He didn’t want to think about Fitzjames having found a sweetheart, here on Terror none the less when he had no chance with the man. 

‘Who with though, who the hell on Terror would’ve caught his eye?’ Tom was concerned for his friend, Francis didn’t exactly deal with things, more he just ignored them until they would eventually one day kill him.

Francis just sighed wetly, ‘Don’t fucking know, do I?’ His voice edging on hysterical, everything had been going fine so of course that twat had to cause a commotion. 

‘Well, what’re you gonna do, Francis?’

He stayed quiet for a moment, thinking it all over. ‘I’ll have to accept him onto the ship, won’t I? Can’t exactly say yes to everyone else and no to Commander Fop.’ Tom sighed, this might very well be the thing that kills Francis. ‘Besides, it’s only for a few days. So long as he keeps away from me and I can’t smell him, it’ll be fine.’

‘Francis am not gonna let you risk yourself like this.’ Rejection from an alpha was one thing, but when you are already in love with them, it can be fatal. 

‘It’ll be fine Thomas,’ he looked at Tom in a way he hoped looked confident, ‘I’ll be fine.’ Tom made an unhappy sound before nodding. ‘On you go to bed and send Jopson in if you pass him.’ 

‘Jopson isn’t gonna be around to fix things forever, Francis.’ Tom got his jacket and left, informing Jopson that the Captain needed him, before retiring for the night. And if Francis didn’t sleep that night, well no one else had to know.


	3. Here it comes

Dr McDonald looked appalled at Francis’ mention of Fitzjames coming aboard, the man was just too perceptive. 

‘Captain you cannot possibly think that is a good idea. It’ll place a lot of unnecessary stress on you if you were to smell him, or him and whoever it is he has chosen to be with. Let the man invite them to his ship, a much smarter endeavour, surely?’ All Francis could do was sit there, flushed a bright red, feeling like he was being chastised for the first time in many years. How had neither he nor Tom thought of that? Then again saying no to Fitzjames was always harder than it should have been. 

‘It is too late for that now Doctor, they’ll be here tomorrow morning. I won’t let this get in the way of my decorum, and besides what could I have stated as my reason for declining him on the ship that wouldn’t make him feel slighted against?’ McDonald looked like he was gonna smack something, most likely Francis, but he held fast. 

‘You could have said there would be too many onboard for the Doctors to manage or supplies to keep up with. There could have been no reason and all Sir John would have done is look at you all disappointed afterwards while you are perfectly alive to continue!’ The man took a few deep breaths to calm before continuing, ‘What is the plan? Are you just to ignore him while he’s on the ship? You can't go anywhere near him, Captain.’

‘Tha’s what I came to you for, what would you suggest as the best plan? ’Crozier tried smiling encouragingly at the man, but McDonald just gave him an exasperated look in return. 

‘Be present on the top deck when he arrives only if you must be, then stay in your rooms. Claim you’ve gone into heat earlier than expected, send Mr Blanky with your apologies. Then wait until he leaves the ship, which will hopefully be before your actual heat is over. Give yourself plenty of time for the heat to truly leave your system. That is the best way for this to go and just pray he doesn’t force himself anywhere close to you.’ Francis nodded, thinking over how this can fit into the days' plans tomorrow. 

‘Thank you, Alex, I don’t know where we’d be without you.’ He held McDonald’s hands so the man would look at him, see his sincerity before the man gently kicked him out of sickbay to finalise his preparations. 

\----

Francis had struggled to sleep that night, fear twisting in his guts as he overanalysed every meeting he’d had with Fitzjames present, trying to work out who the man was coming for. By the time his exhausted mind had given up Jopson was coming in to wake and dress him. 

It wasn’t a particularly cold day, but everyone was dressed up as warm as they could be underneath their dress uniforms. The Erebuses would be going straight below deck, so Francis stood as far away as he could justify with his available officers, Doctor McDonald and Mr Blanky. They waited as the few men from Erebus rowed over and began climbing onto Terror led by a very unexpected Sir John. 

‘What in the buggering hell is he doing here?’ It was Blanky, the irritated bite coming through even though he spoke quietly. He shared a look with McDonald, who looked just as reprehensible about the sudden appearance of the other Captain. 

‘I’ve not a bloody clue.’ Francis replied, moving forward to greet Sir John, but stopping abruptly as the next man up appeared to be Fitzjames. 

‘This is going to go badly.’ McDonald, ever the optimist, was sounding very worried now. Francis couldn’t talk to one man and avoid the other, they would be inseparable no doubt. 

‘Francis, so cheerful as always. I‘m sorry for not informing you that I’d be following along but it is just for a spot of tea. We shall wait for you in your great room.’ Sir John, ever so obtuse. It wasn’t the prospect of entertaining him that was worrisome, but the ‘we’.

‘‘We’, Sir John?’ Sir John just looked at him like he’d grown another head.

‘Yes, Francis. James and me. What were you expecting?’ He laughed at this before descending into Terror. Fitzjames hovered a moment, staring at Francis as well, but not in the same way Sir John had, before joining his superior below. 

‘There it goes, tits up as usual.’ Blanky was looking between Francis and McDonald as if he was waiting for one of them to come up with a new plan. Francis just shook his head, there was no alternative. Fitzjames he could ignore, feign his heat and the other man would understand, but Sir John just didn’t understand all the malarkey with the heats and ruts. He would force Francis into that room, even more so if he thought Francis was trying to avoid Fitzjames. 

They stood in silence, awaiting the last of the men from Erebus before Francis addressed his own men.

‘If you are returning with Sir John to Erebus you may remain here on deck until he is ready to leave, the rest of you return to your duties. Dismissed.’

‘Now if you both will excuse me; I’ll be headed to my demise now.’ This was spoken quieter, directed just to his Ice Master and his Doctor. ‘Lieutenant Little is a decent man at least, if anyone’s gonna take over Terror at least it’s him.’ He left quickly, not wanting to hear Blanky’s alternatives or McDonald’s offers. It would be best to just get it over and done with. 

\----

As he got closer to his doom, Francis began to sweat. He hadn’t noticed how warm the deck had become with all the additional men packed in. He was also beginning to pick up on a strange scent, sweet yet musky, it made him shudder slightly. When he reached the door he paused, taking a deep breath he noticed the scent was much stronger here. 

He jumped a little when the door opened and Jopson came out, he looked concerned and a little flushed. 

‘Jopson, are you alright?’ His steward smiled at his concern and nodded.’

‘Quite fine, Captain. Are you? You’ve been stood out here for a while I was worried you’d fallen asleep or something.’ Jopson wobbled a little, and he looked very pale all of a sudden. ‘Actually, I think I should go sit down. I’m afraid I won't be of much use now; I think my heat is starting.’

Francis nodded, placed his hand against Jopson’s forehead and hissed in sympathy. ‘I think you’re right Thomas, burning up a little. You go and lie down; I’ll send for Edward to join you.’ Jopson nodded slowly, a dazed expression on his face and Francis guided him to his berth. He caught Gibson after he’d tucked his steward in and sent him to find Lieutenant Little.

Confident that Jopson would be in good hands, he returned to the door of the great room and entered. Sir John was sat at the head of the table, laughing jovially as he sipped his tea. Fitzjames sat across from the door, but he seemed entirely different from usual, all hunched over and tense. He didn’t seem to hear Sir John’s ramblings or even the door opening, but his head shot up to stared at Francis after a few seconds. 

‘Ah Francis, I never saw you there. I hope everything is taken care of. Young Jopson just left but I’ll call him back to get you a cup of tea…’ 

‘No, that’s quite alright. Jopson is… running an errand for me.’ He’ hesitated at the door, reluctant to go nearer Fitzjames. He was beginning to feel not so good himself, it was very warm in the great room. 

‘Anyway, I was just telling James…’ Francis tuned out Sir John turning to look at Fitzjames more closely. His hair was looking oily and it looked like he was sweati- oh. He looked exactly how Francis felt. Fitzjames was going into his rut. Typical.

‘Pardon me, Sir John, but I think the men have been waiting long enough, don’t you? You don’t want any of them to enter their heats early.’ Francis was impressed at how steady his voice came out. Sir John just pouted, unhappy that he was essentially being kicked out. 

‘Surely they can wait a little longer Francis, it has been too long since we spent any-‘

‘Sir John, my heat is beginning, and as much as I would enjoy your company, I would just like to go lie down. As would James, I don’t doubt.’ Sir John looked at his Commander seemingly noticing for the first time that Fitzjames was not at his best. He seemed to think then reluctantly nodded. 

‘Right, my apologies Francis. I was unaware that you both, well, you know. I shall take my leave then. Oh, and James when might you want me to-‘ In a surprising burst of energy James swivelled to face Sir John and almost growled at him. ‘- Ah right, well I shall see you both soon I suppose.’ Then he was finally gone. 

Francis made a mistake of taking another deep breath, inhaling that amazing scent that Francis realised was coming from Fitzjames, and he sighed shakily. They were quiet for a moment, Francis waiting for Fitzjames to speak but the other man just stared at the wall, panting harshly. Francis didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to start the conversation that would ruin everything, but the quiet was becoming heavy and oppressive, which was almost worse. 

‘I can go get whoever it is you’re here for if you want. You can stay here, and I’ll find somewhere else to go.’ He hated the thought of the man he loves being with someone else in his bed but there wasn’t really any other option. He’d go down to the medical bay and wait, and Fitzjames can stay comfortable up here. 

Fitzjames somehow seemed to tense more at Francis’ words, ‘I don’t think I understand what you mean.’ The words came out harsh, and Francis could hear Fitzjames lisp at the end of his words. The man was clearly struggling to stay within his right mind. Francis was surprised the man hadn’t jumped him, an alpha near any omega during his rut usually grabs hold of the nearest thing, happy to fuck whatever. But maybe Fitzjames had a mate, that’s the only reason he could be so in control of himself. Or maybe Francis is just that distasteful to his alpha. He isn’t sure which hurts worse. 

‘I don’t have time for your mind games today, Fitzjames. Who is the seaman you came for?’ Irritation was all Francis had left, hoped it would force a name from him. James just laughed, surprisingly clear and self-deprecating. 

‘I didn’t come for one of your seamen, Francis. I came to ask you, I thought maybe we could spend the heat together. I apologise though, I didn’t realise the idea was so horrible for you.’ James spoke strongly, like the alpha he is, but his body shivered and seemed to cower before Francis. 

‘You came to ask me?’ It was a dangerous trail, but surprise made Francis grab hold of the hope it generated. 

‘You didn’t know?’ Fitzjames gaped at him, confidence returning to his posture. ‘I was going to ask when you were last on Erebus, but you literally ran away Francis. I expected you to reject my asking to come to Terror, but when you agreed I had thought you’d understood my meaning.’

‘I just thought you wanted to keep it private. Why would you want to spend it with me?’ Francis felt like he was going to have to re-evaluate his life after this. 

‘Why wouldn’t I, Francis? You’re strong and intelligent and witty, you make me feel many things, wanted and lust.’ Francis could feel a blush high on his cheeks, ‘I thought one heat with you, and I would be happy for the rest of my days, however, short it would be.’ 

‘Short? Fitzjames what are you on about?’ Francis could guess but he wanted to hear him say it, needed to hear it. 

‘I knew you to be harsh, Francis, but making me say it is just cruel.’ James was getting upset, but Francis persevered, he moved towards the table, staring down at James. James just stared back at him, shuddering in his seat. ‘I- I love you Francis, and I know you don’t feel the same.’

The admission made Francis shudder, his insides clenching pleasantly. Fitzjames curled into himself again and that made his heart clench sadly. He reached out and tilted James’ chin up, forcing the man to look at him. 

‘James, what makes you think I don’t feel the same?’ James’ eyes were glued to Francis, lips parted slightly at Francis’ sudden close proximity, but he remained quiet. ‘Answer me, James.’ He watched as James shuddered again, but he responded. 

‘You seem like you can’t stand me, besides who would want me as their alpha.’ He pouted when Francis took a surprised step back, missing the contact immediately. 

‘What do you mean James, you’re a fine alpha?’ The man was loud and confident and pompous, always striking a sharp figure at any table he’s sat at. 

‘Look at me, Francis, not many omega’s want an alpha who would rather be claimed than give the bite themselves.’ That presented a very vivid image that did many things to Francis, but he focused on the very sad man in front of him. Suddenly a lot of things made sense, why Fitzjames had asked for his opinion, why he’d sat beneath him on the floor, why he closed into himself as his rut began. 

‘James, I would like to spend this heat with you, and every other one if it’s an option.’ 

‘Are you sure Francis? You don’t have to for my sake.’ Francis just rolled his eyes at James’ trepidation, instead of trying to talk him around he figured actions would speak louder. He leaned down and captured James’ lips, enjoying the guttural moan that wormed its way out of James’ throat. Once they broke apart Francis just caressed James’ lip with his thumb, listening to his happy sighs. 

‘I’m hardly the most obedient omega James, and I always figured that would clash with your image, but maybe that’s what you need. And you’re what I need, what I want.’ James nodded, a huge smile sneaking its way onto his face. ‘Now, shall we go to my berth or do you need some more time?’ James was up and out of his seat in a flash, Francis just laughed, affection filling his chest. He went to the door, informing Gibson that his heat had begun and that he would be out for a few days, as would Commander Fitzjames. Then he happily joined James in his berth.


	4. Lover, Tell Me If You're Able, Who's Gonna Make the Wedding Bed

The room was very warm around them, Francis noted, as they slowly undressed each other. James was smiling self consciously once his final layer was on the floor, but Francis was mesmerised by the miles and miles of soft, creamy white skin. The sight made him shudder and he could feel slick running down his inner thigh. 

‘You’re beautiful,’ it came out husky and his hand shot out to run his fingers across the skin of his chest. It was warm and he could feel the fast heartbeat, as well as the hitch in his breath as they skated down his stomach to his navel.

‘Francis,’ it came out as a low groan and Francis brought his other hand up to grip at his hips, slipping closer to press soft kisses across his collar bone and over his heart. James’ hands came up to grab at his shoulders, gripping slightly as he felt a ghost of breath across his nipples. ‘Please.’

Francis smiled, looking up at James’ flushed cheeks and dilated eyes before leaning down to lick and suck at one nipple, his hand coming up to pinch at the other. This elicited a sharp moan from James, his hips stuttering forward and managing to rub their cocks together. Francis groaned, biting down hard, before releasing the reddened nipple to capture James’ lips in a soft kiss. 

It was their first proper kiss, and Francis had to admit it was so soft and tender that it made his toes curl in pleasure. When they broke apart, James leaned forward and kissed at Francis’ neck enjoying the way it made Francis’ breath hitch. 

‘I’ve never done this before.’ It came out breathlessly from Francis, who’s eyes were closed as he leaned into James’ mouth on his neck. 

James released him, standing straight to look Francis in the eye. ‘Neither have I, we’ll figure this out together.’ He stroked a hand down Francis’ cheek, smiling reassuringly. Francis nodded and allowed James to lay him back down on the bed. 

James hovered over him, taking in the sight of Francis flushed and horny. He pushed his legs up, so his knees were bent, showing off both his hard cock and his glistening hole. He let out a shaky breath, feeling the heat in him go up a notch at the sight before he leaned down to bite his way from knee to cock. 

Francis was left a gasping, writhing mess. His fingers were tangled in James’ hair, trying to drag him down to his cock but James stayed strong, sucking bruises across his inner thigh. James smiled as he reached Francis’ groin, sucking at the skin next to his cock and mouthing at his balls, moaning at every sharp tug to his hair it earned. 

‘God damn it, James, just give me something.’ Francis was hoarse from moaning and James was more happy with the response he got once he’d sucked the head of Francis’ cock into his mouth. Increasing the grip he had on James’ hair, Francis’ hips thrust deeper into James’ mouth, fucking his throat. James relaxed his mouth, allowing Francis to continue fucking into him with increasing desperation until he tightened and came down James’ throat. Once he’d relaxed back onto the bed, James released his cock to instead lick over it gently until Francis’ hand pushed his head away. 

‘I- you- how?’ James laughed at Francis’ incoherency. Leaning back over him, James gave him a deep kiss, allowing Francis to taste himself.

‘I’m gonna take it you enjoyed that.’ He wouldn’t stop the grin on his face even if he could, smiling at Francis’ dazed expression. Francis just nodded vigorously, words still beyond him. ‘I’m glad you did, I’ll be more than happy to do that again.’ Francis raised his hand to James’ face, patting at his cheek, showing his agreement. 

‘For the next part, it’ll probably be easier if you’re up on your knees.’ Francis groaned at the idea of moving but with a little help from James, he was soon arse up with his head resting on his forearms. James was definitely laughing at him, but Francis was too boneless to care so all he did was grumble. 

‘You should see yourself, Francis. You look so tempting.’ Francis flushed at the sound of reverence in his partner's voice, he’d never felt like he had much to offer before but with the way James spoke he could believe what he said. 

With reality coming back to him Francis pushed up onto his hands, turning to look over his shoulder to find James transfixed with his hand just a hairbreadth away from touching his skin. The sight was enough to make him gush more slick which seemed to be enough to kick start James into finally touching him. He sighed at the touch, but it quickly turned into fevered moans as he was breached by a finger. 

He’d never felt anything like it before and it was only one finger, but James moved efficiently and soon Francis was fucking himself back on three fingers, moans spilling out of his mouth. 

‘More James, please. Fuck me already.’ He was delirious now, wanting nothing more than to be speared open on James’ cock. James removed his fingers, using Francis’ own slick to prepare his cock as he lined up. Francis began rambling desperately, but James took his time teasing Francis, rubbing the head of his cock across his hole and the back of his balls before slowing pushing in. 

As soon as he was balls deep James began a punishing pace, fucking into the loose wet hole over and over as Francis shivered in pleasure, moaning non-stop. Francis came again, untouched, under the constant abuse but James continued, his mind set on the goal of filling up his omega. 

Francis recovered faster from this orgasm and soon he was tightening his muscled around James’ cock, fucking back onto it. A high-pitched whimper found its way out of his chest when he felt the beginnings of a knot catching on his rim. James was out of his mind with how close he was, he had plastered himself across Francis’ back and one particularly sweet whining rendition of his name and James popped his knot and was coming, filling Francis up as his vision went blank.

When he came to, Francis had somehow rolled them over onto their sides, still tied in place by James’ knot. He noticed that Francis was playing with one of his hands, stroking the soft skin and kissing each finger softly. 

‘Hey.’ It came out quiet and prompted Francis to wiggle back against his chest, as close as they could get to a hug at that moment.

‘Hey.’ Francis pressed some kisses into the crook of James’ arm that he was using as a headrest. James trailed his arm across Francis’ skin, through the mess of cum on his chest, and settled on his stomach, which was distended a little thanks to his cum. ‘Do you like that? Or would you rather it was you full to the brim?’ Francis’ voice was strong considering how loud and never-ending his moaning was not too long ago.

‘Both, I think. Though I really do like the idea of you fucking me over and over until I looked like I was carrying your babe.’ He felt his cock twitch in interest and Francis squeezed back on him.

‘As nice as the thought of another round is, I think we’ve earned some sleep.’ Francis yawned and James smiled into the back of his neck. He couldn’t believe how much he loved this man, and he couldn’t wait till he could tell him. 

‘That’s a good plan.’ James responded, tightening his hold as he dozed off.


	5. Mornings Are Hard

When he woke, James was surprised to find the bed empty. He was tucked in beneath half a dozen blankets to keep the worst of the chill away, but he could feel a creeping cold spreading inside him at the thought that Francis he left him. A loud banging and muffled ‘fuck’ drew him from this feeling and he got up to investigate, keeping a thick blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. 

He slid the door open to see Francis standing in a shirt that was far too long for him straightening a knife and fork next to a plate of food. He seemed to be fussing over it before huffing in annoyance, freezing in place when he turned to see James standing watching him. 

‘I- uh, you- I’ Francis had gone pink, shuffling over enough to hide the plate with his body.

‘I- I thought you’d left.’ It was not what he was planning to say but he saw the way Francis’ face fell, he immediately regretted opening his mouth. 

Francis just moved away from the table, showing the plate he’d been agonising over but also a second across from it that James hadn’t seen before. ‘I got us food, Blanky left some at the door for us and I was trying to make it appealing for you.’ His shoulders were slumped and he looked embarrassed. 

‘I’m sorry Francis, I shouldn’t have said that.’ He tried to take a step forward but Francis moved back, away from him. It horrified him that Francis didn’t want to be near him. He just nodded, turning back into the bedroom to pull on some of his clothes. He pulled on his jumper, aware that Francis was currently wearing his shirt, and his trousers before he ventured back into the greatroom. 

Francis had gone pale and it looked like he was shaking. He was just staring at the floor, lost in thought. James wanted to go to him but held back, afraid he’d do more damage if he tried. He hovered for a moment, then coughed, which seemed to startle Francis into looking at him. 

‘Please don’t go.’ It was said so quietly that James didn’t know if he did hear it, but with the way Francis was looking at him, he knew the other man had said it. 

‘Never. I’d only go if you asked me to.’ Francis just seemed to crumble after that, tears streamed down his face and he looked so insecure. James moved before he could register it, pulling the other man into an impossibly tight hug. Francis clung onto him, face tucked into his neck. 

‘I think we have some things to talk about, Francis, before you we do anything else. I think we’ve come to a misunderstanding somewhere.’ Francis nodded from his place at his neck but made no attempt to move away. James’ smiled at the clear need for physical touch, he could only imagine how touch starved Francis was because god only knew how starved he himself was. 

‘I’ll start then, I was sad when I woke up and you weren’t there and then I heard you through here. I thought it was terribly endearing watching you fight with the cutlery. You’re too good for this world Francis.’ He pressed a kiss onto Francis’ brow, shivering at the hot breath on his neck. After a few seconds of silence where it was clear Francis wasn’t going to speak, James poked at his ribs. 

Francis yelped and jumped away slightly batting James’ hand away. ‘Fine, fine. I’ve never done this before, and when I woke up I felt such a strong need to do it properly. I just can’t. And then you left.’ And Francis though he was being rejected, James realised. 

‘Francis, I thought I’d upset you and made you uncomfortable. I’m here to stay as long as you'll have me.’ He’d moved Francis back so he could look at his face and see how serious he was. Francis was all flushed again but not out of embarrassment this time. ‘I don’t care that you’re not a perfect omega, we talked about this Francis, I want you to do what makes you happy and comfortable. And I am happy to make you food and make it all nice because that’s something I enjoy doing.’

He backed Francis up to the table, pushing him to lay back on a clear part of it. ‘I want to serve you, Francis, I want to be your good little mate.’ He kneeled down, pushing the edge of his shirt up so that his cock was on display. 

Francis made a keening sound when James started licking at the head of his cock, wrapping his thighs around his head to draw him closer. James huffed a laugh against his cock then went to sucking at it. Francis grabbed at James’ hair when a cold hand started rolling and lightly squeezing at his ballsac. He started rutting into James’ mouth, holding his head with his thighs and thrusting over and over until he shuddered and came down James’ throat. 

\------

Untangling Francis’ legs from around him, James stood so he could see the other man’s face. Francis looked considerably happier now, glaring playfully at James as he pushed off of the dining table.

‘I’m not going to be able to look anyone in the eye the next time we dine in here.’ It sounded scolding but James knew it was far from it, he felt something like pride swell in his chest that he was able to give Francis very memorable pleasure. 

‘I’m okay with that. Maybe I’ll suggest to Sir John that we should come over more, so I can watch you squirm.’ Francis just punched at his shoulder, laughing at the mere suggestion.

‘Oh shush, now the food’ll be cold but that’s your fault so you just gonna have tae deal with it.’ Francis moved to the plate they were next to and pulled out the chair, indicating with a flourish that James should sit. Once he was all tucked in, James watched Francis move around to the other side and sit. 

‘Such a gentleman, Francis. Thank you for the food.’

‘Well, thank you for- well, you know.’ Francis ducked his head, ears turning red with embarrassment. James wanted him to say it, wanted to hear how Francis enjoyed it but that was maybe something for a later date.

‘You’re most welcome, Francis.’ They ate quietly, but it was comfortable and companionable. After they’d finished Francis let out a huge yawn, that he tried to hide, which had James chuckling. He got up, leading Francis back into the bedroom and pushing him into bed gently. He kissed him softly then climbed in with him, settling into Francis’ open arms and settled into his role as little spoon. He fell asleep without even realising how tired he was.


	6. Didn't You Know

It was significantly colder when Francis and James emerged from Francis’ room a few days later. Jopson was eating with Little and jumped out of his seat at the sight of them, mouth open in surprise. Little was laughing at him, shoulders shaking lightly, which made Jopson smack his shoulder.

‘At ease, Jopson. Enjoy your breakfast, I’m sure myself and Commander Fitzjames are quite capable of feeding ourselves.’ Jopson relaxed at his words, sitting back down beside Little and joined in with the conversation again, although the movement of his foot kicking Little's shin and his accompanying wince did not go unnoticed by Francis. 

Francis smiled, gesturing for James to take a seat before grabbing two bowls of food and joining him. They sat apart from the rest of the crew but they were fine with that, grateful for the little bit of privacy. Francis’ heat had finished officially yesterday morning, but they had stayed secreted away for the rest of the day enjoying each others company and asking questions about each other. 

Blanky had wished them a good night, showing that he knew what they were up to but allowing them to do so all the same. James had laughed so prettily when he’d left that Francis couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing him. 

Now that his heat was over, James would be returning back to Erebus, something that filled Francis with dread. He wasn’t quite ready to give up the comfortable affection James had given him, and he certainly didn’t want to go back to how they were before- terse and distant. He knew that James had feelings for him but they didn’t guarantee that one heat together would continue into anything more. 

‘Are you still with me Francis?’ James nudged him under the table, voice light and playful, ‘Or are you disappearing into daydreams? Am I not keeping you entertained enough?’ He was smiling cheekily, a sight which made Francis feel butterflies in his stomach.

‘Just thinking, James, but you have my full attention now.’ He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his own face, kicking James back gently which earned him an indignant huff and a harder kick back.

‘Now now lads, you wouldn’t be playing footsie under the table now, would ya?’ Blanky dropped down onto the bench beside Francis, eyebrows raised suggestively as he looked between them, fully aware of what they were doing. 

‘Good morning Mr Blanky.’ James was polite as ever, smiling at Francis’ best friend jovially which earned a snicker from Francis.

‘My God, Francis, was that a laugh, and are ye smiling too? I do believe you’ve either bewitched him or broken him Commander Fitzjames.’ Francis smacked Blanky’s arm but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with both of them. ‘Seriously though, Francis, I’m glad you’re happy again.’ Blanky had leant into him, the words said low and quietly. 

‘Thank you, Thomas. I am happy.’

‘We both are.’ James was staring at him, into his soul it felt like, but it made him feel like they were going to last and that he had nothing to worry about. ‘How was being Acting Captain anyways? You didn’t get up to too much trouble with Dr Mcdonald I hope?’

Blanky laughed again, ‘It was a breeze, I’m just glad we did shelter in again or it might have been much worse. And the Doctor was on his best behaviour.’ Francis was confused at that, and the look on both Thomas and James’ faces.

‘Dr Mcdonald? What were you doing with the Doctor?’ James looked up at him in surprise which only made him feel like he’d missed something big. 

‘They’re mates, Francis, I was just wondering if they managed to enjoy some time alone.’ James just took a bite of his breakfast as if that little tidbit of news was known to him. He spun round to face Thomas, who was staring intently at the wood of the table.

‘Mr Blanky are you mated to Dr Mcdoanald?’ Thomas kept his attention forward, picking at a crack in the wood, before sighing loudly and looking Francis in the eye. 

‘Yes I am Francis, have been near 15 years now.’ Francis spluttered, looking at his friend in disbelief. He knew the man was bonded but he’d never met them or learned their name.

‘The fuck did you never tell me for?’ They had been friends for longer than that and it hurt that his friend didn’t trust him.

Blanky shrugged, ‘I wasn’t when we first met, and you were having your trouble with your heats, then when we did mate I didn’t want you to feel like I was leaving you or anything cause he was also on the ship. We didn’t exactly have normal heats so it never really came up.’

‘And all those times you offered to spend my heat with me?’ He vaguely heard James choke at his words but focused on the conversation at hand.

‘Alex knew, knew what your heats were like, no doubt he would’ve been more angry if I hadn’t offered.’ Francis was struck dumb by the news. ‘You’re family, to us both, Francis.’ He nodded in acceptance, knowing his friend did trust him really.

‘Wait, are we going to go back to the point where Blanky offered to help you?’ Both men laughed at James’ indignation, Francis leaned forward to grab his hand and squeezed it gently.

‘I’ve always had difficult heats but I never took him up on it, James.’

‘No need to worry, I shan’t steal him from you in the night.’ James stuck up his middle finger at Blanky in a very undignified move that had the man howling, and Francis chuckled enjoying the comfort of being with both his lover and his friend. 

‘As if he’d ever leave me now he’s had a taste.’ James muttered in faux annoyance, blushing when he realised what he’d said. 

‘Exactly, don’t need anybody else now.’ Francis was quick to add, squeezing James’ hand and smiling once the man looked at him. He had exactly what he needed in life now.


	7. An Inbetween

The few weeks after Francis’ heats were very strange ones. Francis knew himself how strange he must be coming across to his officers, but each night Jopson assured him it was strange in a very good way. Francis had smiled non-stop since James had left, and just generally been more upbeat in every way.

Sir John had commented on his improved disposition at the latest officers meeting aboard Erebus, seemingly failing to notice how James had flushed red and beamed at the knowledge he had so deeply affected Francis. 

They all agreed upon remaining in the bay for the rest of the winter season, with Sir John finally seeing sense and deciding it would be better to be frozen in where they currently were rather than attempting to continue on in search of the passage.

Beyond that Francis hadn’t paid much attention to Sir John, trusting that if anything important was said Edward would mention it to him. Instead, he had his eyes on James opposite him, catching his eye and smiling conspiratorially whilst finding his feet under the table. It was childish and unbecoming of his station but the flushed happy expression on James' face was definitely worth it. 

As was the way James said his name at the end of the meeting, ‘A moment of your time Francis,’ before guiding him to his berth and allowing Francis to crowd him against the closed door. James released a soft exhale as Francis kissed at his neck, nipping at the skin in silent promise, before pulling him up and into a soft kiss that left them both breathless.

‘You should come over tomorrow Francis. Sir John is going with some of the marines to the beach to set up a hunting base and he said he’d be there all day.’ James looked at him with conviction, and it was clear he had put some time and thought into it. 

‘And what if Sir John was to catch us?’ It was a major fear for Francis, he found himself sitting into the wee hours thinking of how Sir John would ruin this relationship, as he had done his previous one. Now he had had James the thought of losing him kept him from sleep. 

‘He won’t find out, and even so, he can’t stop us, Francis.’ James kissed him again, preventing him from saying the things he really wanted to say. 

There was a lot that Francis found himself thinking about, and now he had turned away from alcohol there was nothing to numb his thoughts or to distract him. Most of it was small inconsequential things that he knew was his mind overreacting but some things caught him in the worst ways, twisted him up inside and brought despair to his nights. And when James said thing like ‘he won’t find out’ it made something in him twist with shame and insecurity, like he wasn’t worth enough to be seen with James, to be known as his partner. Not that they really were partners. 

‘Hey, come on don’t get lost in your head. You think too much.’ James’ voice and eyes were filled with concern and that just made him feel 100 times worse for doubting the other man.

‘Of course, I’ll come, nothing could stop me.’ And Francis really hoped he looked reassuring and happy. James lit up and Francis couldn’t stop himself from kissing him again, pouring as much of his care and affection into it as he could. 

A sharp knock of the door drew them apart, James smoothing out the parts of his uniform that got crushed between them and Francis opened the door. Edward was stood there, face respectfully neutral but Francis could see mirth dancing in his eyes. ‘Sir.’ Was all he said but he turned away from the door, giving Francis the chance to offer one last kiss to James before departing for Terror.


	8. Sir John's Poor Timing

Edward wasn’t particularly happy at the prospects of going over to Erebus today. It was super cold, and he wasn’t entirely sure that Captain Crozier was telling the truth about why he was going. Edward didn’t want to get dragged into a lover’s tryst on the main flagship where Sir John would be furious if he found out. 

Crozier could clearly tell he was hesitant; he was looking at him with pleading eyes that made Edward quite uncomfortable. ‘I won’t make you come, Edward, but it would mean a lot to me if you did. I trust you.’ 

Edward looked down at his hands, where he was wringing the soft material of a scarf. ‘Sir, I don’t want to get in trouble from Sir John.’

‘He would never know Edward; I wouldn’t let you get in trouble if I was caught. If it makes any difference, as thanks I can allow Mr Jopson the night off and I would allow him to spend it with you.’ Edward looked up again, the look in the Captain’s eye had moved now to hopeful puppy eyes that he would never have thought the man was capable of. 

‘I- okay, I’ll come.’ He knew he’d come to regret it but the look on Crozier's face was worth it. It’s exactly how he knew he looked at Thomas, and if he’d be allowed to spend some unchaperoned time with him then it was something to look forward to at least. 

The look on Thomas’ face was also worth it when he crowded the steward against the wall of his berth and whispered all the dirty things he was planning to do to him that night.

Once they’d gotten into Erebus, they were met by Fitzjames and a very happy Lieutenant Le Vesconte. He and Dundy were quickly left alone with a half-hearted ‘we’ll be back’ thrown over Crozier’s shoulder as he was dragged away. Dundy had quite the shit-eating grin on his face at the two men’s antics, but Edward wasn’t surprised as he knew he and Fitzjames were very close friends. 

‘Like rabbits the way those two go at it.’ Dundy laughed harder at the face Edward pulled at his comment, but he certainly agreed and soon the two of them were sitting in the general eating area. 

‘So, what exactly are we supposed to be doing?’ Edward asked, taking a sip of his water as he watched the room fill a little with others. 

‘You and I are going to wait here on the off-chance Sir John returns, and one of us will politely knock of Fitzy’s door to give them a chance to right themselves.’ Edward nodded at Dundy’s plan; it was pretty decent all things considered. 

‘Who would have thought those two would get together, you wouldn’t believe all the rants I had to sit through about ‘that pompous, fop of a suck up’. They both laughed at Edward’s impression of his Captain, Dundy to the point of crying. He shook his head as he wiped away his tears.

‘God I could believe; James was exactly the same except he was whining over the fact Crozier didn’t like him and how he insulted his hair.’ Dundy mimed this by stroking his hair, and that sent Edward off again. 

Their laughter was cut short by some loud footfalls as, to their mounting horror, Sir John descended onto their level. He smiled jovially at Le Vesconte but levelled a surprised look at Edward. 

‘Ah, Edward my boy, what’s brought you over to Erebus? Is Francis with you?’ Sir John came to stand next to them, looking excitedly about as though Crozier would suddenly appear around the corner. 

‘Sir, I wasn’t aware you were back.’ Dundy jumped to his feet, concern written all over his face, but Edward couldn’t tell if it was for Sir John or his friend. 

‘Not to worry, Le Vesconte, I didn’t wish to cause a ruckus is all, now Edward, where is Francis?’ He waved Dundy back into his seat before levelling a look at Edward who stammered for a moment.

‘I’m not entirely sure, Sir. He left a while ago with Commander Fitzjames, they said I wouldn’t be needed so I’ve been catching up with Lieutenant Le Vesconte. If you give me a moment, I’ll go look for them.’ He was already two steps out of his seat when Sir John held his hand up, indicating that he could sit down again. 

‘Now, now, don’t worry about it. I shall have a look for them, they won’t have gone too far.’ He smiled at them before setting off towards the great room and exactly where Crozier and Fitzjames were.

Edward looked over at Dundy with wide eyes, who was looking back at him with the exact same expression. ‘This is going to go very badly, isn’t it?’ Dundy just nodded, ‘Of course the only time he doesn’t want to kick up a fuss is the one day we needed him too.’ They looked at the others around them before both men suddenly sprung to their feet, ordering everyone to report on deck for an impromptu deck cleaning. Even the poor cook was forced up into the cold winter sunshine, and just as the last man had disappeared up, they heard Sir John explode as he found Francis and James. He was bellowing at the men, before going quiet and re-appearing to ask Le Vesconte to ensure that Francis got off Erebus immediately. 

Dundy disappeared down the corridor to grab Crozier and Sir John hovered looking at Edward. ‘I am very sorry Edward, for this suddenness. I think it’s for the best that you both leave, not that it has anything to do with you. I apologise, however, for drawing your visit with Le Vesconte short.’ Edward just let out a quiet ‘it’s okay’ before Sir John turned on his heel and vanished. Dundy reappeared five minutes later, Crozier in tow behind him, now fully dressed and red with anger.

Dundy gave Edward an apologetic look, passing Crozier off to him. ‘It’ll be for the best if you go before Sir John reappears.’ Edward nodded, looking at his Captain in an attempt to gauge how angry he was, but Crozier just stared ahead of them. 

‘It was nice seeing you, Dundy. Pass on my goodbyes to Commander Fitzjames.’ Edward was nothing if not polite, and he gestured for his Captain to go ahead of him. Crozier ascended the stairs without a word, and Edward followed quickly. When they reached the side where their small boat was, Edward noticed the confused look on Crozier’s face, he looked around to see that almost every Erebus man was on deck. He could see a confused Lieutenant Gore and Fairholme arguing with the cook, most likely about orders to be on deck. 

‘I’ll explain it on the way back to Terror, sir.’ Was all Edward said before descending down the side of Erebus. Once they were a good way back to Terror, Edward felt Crozier’s leg nudge his, clearly expecting an answer. 

‘I’m sorry that you were caught sir, we didn’t know Sir John was back until it was already too late.’ The expression on Crozier’s face softened, and he shook his head softly.

‘Don’t worry about it, Edward. It was unfair of us to leave it all on you both, we could never have known he’d be back so early.’ Edward nodded, hearing the apology in his words. ‘Now why on earth was Mr Wall and seemingly every man on Erebus on the deck?’

Edward flushed, coughing in embarrassment. ‘Well, when Sir John went to go find you, we realised there was nothing to be done to stop him, but we figured we could reduce the number of men that heard him shouting.’ 

Crozier chuckled, but it quickly turned into full-on laughter that made Edward go red again. ‘Very smart of you both, this is why you’re my second Edward.’ Edward relaxed allowing himself to grin at his Captain. ‘You should have seen Sir John’s face when he came in, I think he short-circuited for a moment.’ They both burst into full-on laughter, Edward picturing their voyage commanders face slack with shock. 

Once their laughter had died down Edward looked at his Captain for a moment, opening his mouth before really thinking about it. ‘Why don’t you and Fitzjames just mate, Sir? That way you wouldn’t have to sneak around to be together.’ He regretted asking immediately, an apology on his lips but Crozier shook his head.

‘I- it’s not that easy Edward. James has made it clear that it’s not his thing, he doesn’t want to claim someone.’ He broke off and Edward felt bad for asking. He nudged his Captain with his knee, hoping it showed everything he couldn’t voice; that he was sorry, that he was there for Crozier. Crozier just leaned into the touch, so Edward felt like his message was understood. 

‘Enough about me though, what about you, Edward? When are you gonna make an honest man out of our Mr Jopson?’ He could feel how hot his face had gotten, imagined he must look like a tomato.

He spluttered which seemed to put Crozier in a happy mood again. ‘I- well I haven’t- I need to ask him really. I’m more than ready but I’d wait for a lifetime if he wasn’t.’ He spoke, feeling very sappy. Crozier just smiled at him knowingly. 

‘You’re a good man, Edward. Jopson’s lucky to have you.’ This left Edward speechless, he just muttered out a quiet ‘thank you, sir’ before he looked out at the water around him, trying to keep his emotions in check. It was an eventful day but at least he gets to spend the evening with his love. 

\--------

When James had dragged him away, Francis had to admit he was immediately erect. Something that hasn’t happened to him in a long time. He was quickly pushed into James small room and shoved up against the closed door. They just stared at each other for a breath, taking the time to appreciate each other. It only lasted a moment and soon Francis was tugging James in for a hard kiss, fingers tangled in his soft brown locks. James’ hand was free to grab and grope at Francis’ hips and ass, pulling him tight against his own body. 

When they broke apart Francis was quick to attach his mouth to the soft skin of James’ neck, sucking little love bites above his collar. James had his eyes closed, gripping onto Francis’ head to keep his mouth against his neck while his hip bucked wildly. He was letting out a string of low moans and turned into high pitched gasps when Francis rubbed his hand against James’ clothed erection.

James’ knees buckled at the touch, so Francis dragged him onto the bed, perching himself across James’ thighs. He kissed his way to James’ mouth from where he’s left the reddening marks as his hands began the arduous task of undressing him. James came back to himself a little and started working at the fastenings of Francis’ own clothing. After some wriggling and some happy giggles from James, they were both naked and panting. 

Francis was still sat atop James’ thighs, cocks straining next to each other but not quite touching. James whimpered hips rising in the hopes of getting some kind of touch on his cock. 

‘Tell me what you want, James.’ His voice was thick with arousal as his fingers rubbed over James nipples. He smiled as the other man let out a stuttered sigh. 

It took James a second to have enough mental power to respond, but his breathy ‘fuck me’ was well worth it for the growl that Francis let out. He kissed James, fisting at his cock as he claimed his mouth. 

They had refrained from going farther than bringing each other off with their hands outside of Francis’ heat, but they had discussed it and by God did Francis want to claim James inside and out. 

He pulled back, about to ask James for oil when it was thrust into his hand impatiently. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing, choosing to spread some of the oil on his fingers. He moved off of James, moving his knees up so he could tuck himself between the quivering thighs. With one leg over his shoulder, Francis moved his fingers to James’ entrance, stroking over it never quite pushing in. 

James was tight as a bowstring trying to get Francis to go deeper, sighing and moaning in a constant stream. Francis smiled, enjoying James’ reactions. After a few moments, he pushed a finger in, groaning when he realised that James was already wet and stretched. 

‘Eager, were we?’

‘I thought I’d save us some time.’ James’ grin was nothing short of cheeky and it made him chuckle. Pulling his finger out, Francis slicked up his cock and lined the head up with James entrance. James seemed to hold his breath, eyelids fluttering then squeezing shut as Francis moved forward slowly. 

Time seemed to stop as Francis bottomed out, taking deep breaths as he closed his eyes tight. He’d never felt anything like it, the tight, hot grip around his cock felt exquisite. A sentiment James must have shared given his eyes were rolled back and he was letting out high pitched sighs. There was no way either of them was going to last. 

Francis remained still, allowing James time to get used to it, but he was quickly set straight when James growled at him to move. He pulled out, watching the seam where his cock was disappearing when he pushed back in.

‘You’re a bloody marvel, James.’ He leaned down, pistoning his hips as he recaptured James’ mouth in a passionate kiss. James’ hands were gripping at his back, marking him with scratches, so Francis grabbed his arms, pinning them to the bed. James liked that a lot, breaking the kiss to roll his head back and moan wantonly. 

They were both so close, James’ back was rounding as he curled up, shivering in pleasure as Francis hit that spot over and over with the head of his cock. Francis moved his hand so one was holding down James’ wrists so the other could snake its way down and grasp his cock in a tight hold. It only took a few tugs before James’ whole body seized and he wordlessly came. He distantly heard the scrapping of a door, but Francis was so focused on the impossibly tight hold around his cock that he was seeing stars as he tipped over and came inside James. 

After some harsh breaths, they both jumped out of their skins at Sir John’s shriek. The man looked livid as he awkwardly looked between them and the floor, spluttering and at a loss for words. 

‘Francis what on earth are you doing- how dare you- out this instance!’ Sir John was red with his anger, bellowing at them as he picked up a bundle of clothes and threw them at Francis. ‘How dare you come aboard this ship and force yourself upon poor James. Honestly, you should be ashamed, I knew your Irish upbringing was different from a good old English one, but even I had more faith that you would respect how-‘ The man continued and Francis felt like he wasn’t really helping his cause, standing over them only meant that Francis was forced to remain inside James and on top of him. 

After Sir John seemed to tire himself out, he vanished from the doorway, and Francis took that as his moment to pull out of James, wincing at the other man’s hiss, and threw on his trousers. He picked up a blanket that was laying spare at the end of the bed, gently tucking it around James’ shoulders. James smiled, catching his hand and holding it. 

They broke apart when Sir John reappeared Le Vesconte hovering over his shoulder. ‘Get this man out of here, now.’ He stood back to give Francis space to move through the door. Once in the hallway, Francis looked back at James, who looked livid staring at Sir John. 

They turned down the corridor when Dundy stopped them, pointing at an open door. ‘You can go in there and finish dressing sir, you don’t want to go up in only your trousers.’ Francis looked down at himself in surprise, he hadn’t realised all he had on was his trousers. 

‘Thank you, Le Vesconte.’ He was quick in redressing, wanting to get away before Sir John re-emerged. 

\----

Once Francis had left, Sir John stepped into James’ berth and slid the door shut. He levelled a disappointed look at James, he only wanted the best for the man after all. James was glaring daggers at his Captain, anger filling him. 

‘Come now James, you know this is for the best. I cannot believe I ever trusted that man, to find out he was capable-’

‘No!’ Sir John’s eyes went wide, James had never shouted at him before. ‘You will not come here and try to control me. I am not Miss Cracroft! I am not a son nor a nephew that you can shadow and sneer at who I deem to spend my time with.’

‘Please, James. You have to see reason on this.’ James scoffed at him. 

‘And what reason should I see?’

‘You need a respectable partner, not one who forces you to-‘

‘Don’t you dare say it! Discipline me for my improperness but don’t try and lecture me on what I do with my partner, it has nothing to do with this.’ 

‘Now James, I don’t think there’s any need for that.’

‘Then leave me. If I’m not to be punished, then go.’ Sir John just gaped at him, before nodding and turning to leave. As the door slid shut behind him, James put his head in his hands and wept.


	9. Heartaching

It was a few days before Francis saw James again. Sir John had put off his usual many meetings, choosing to send Le Vesconte to pass on any important updates.

Francis had passed most of his nights sat wide awake in the greatroom, staring into his crystal glass as if it held the answers of the world. Instead, all it held was water that slowly froze over through the night. Jopson sat will him often, politely refusing Francis’ pleas that he go rest. Secretly, it made him feel loved, that someone would happily stay with him and make sure he was alright come morning. 

Before the meeting, Jopson had smiled at Francis’ attempts to make sure he looked good. Every five minutes he turned to see Francis patting at his hair and he caught him touching his face dejectedly. At this, Jopson had immediately brushed the hand away, tutting at him softly. 

‘He likes the way you look, Sir. You should love yourself more.’ He smiled softly at him and continued dressing Francis. 

Once truly finished, Francis allowed Jopson to manhandle him in front of the mirror. Never being particularly vain, Francis felt every wrinkle and sunspot like a heavy reminder of his age. He sighed ‘No wonder,’ shoulders falling dejectedly. 

‘No wonder what, Sir?’ Jopson was looking at him in the mirror, a steely determination on his face. Francis smiled, the boy was ready to jump in and protect Francis, even from himself. 

‘It’s okay Jopson, nothing important.’ Jopson let out a scathing laugh, much to Francis’ surprise, as he picked up the brush and having a go at the invisible dust on Francis’ smart jacket. 

‘It is clearly important, Sir. You want to make a good impression but on who?’ Francis blinked owlishly at him, muttering a surprised ‘what?’

‘If you wish to impress Commander Fitzjames then you needn’t worry. He cares for you, enjoys spending time with you, enjoys your looks-’ 

‘But not enough to love me!’ The words slipped out without Francis’ permission, and he sighed in defeat. Jopson just looked confused, and a little hurt at the outburst, but he was clearly waiting for him to elaborate. ‘He may want me, but never enough to bond with me.’ He flushed with shame at the admission. 

Jopson went quiet, clearly processing and trying to think of some way to fix everything. ‘Have you asked him?’

Francis scoffed, ‘Do I really need to?’ 

‘I find that you never really know what someone else is thinking.’

‘Isn’t the fear of rejection enough for me, let alone me hearing it?’ Jopson smiled sadly.

‘Whose rejection are you expecting? Commander Fitzjames’ or Sir Johns?’ Francis sighed in defeat; he hadn’t considered what he was afraid of truthfully. He assumed he was enough to be his own downfall without realising that he was only living up to Sir Johns low expectations. 

‘Jopson, I-’ He stopped when the door opened and Lieutenant Little stepped into the room. 

‘Apologies Sir. Sir John and the men from Erebus are here.’ 

‘Of course, thank you, Edward.’ Jopson smiled at him and left, mouthing ‘talk to him’ over his shoulder as he went. Little smiled sweetly at Jopson as he went through the door and Francis looked away, feeling like he was intruding on something private. 

When he heard the door softly click closed Francis looked up, Little was waiting for him at the door. Once out the door, there was no moment for Francis to collect himself, he was suddenly in the room and on autopilot, he took his seat and greeted everyone. 

He saw James smile at him, not his usual boastful smile but a shy quiet one he reserved just for Francis. Seeing it now only caused fear to course through Francis’ system, so he looked away, refusing to look at him all throughout the whole meeting. Not that Francis paid any attention to the meeting either, too hyper-aware of James across the room from him, every little twitch, every sip of water and every time he turned in the hopes of catching Francis’ eye. 

He knew he was being a coward, accepted that he was more afraid that Sir John would have brought James to his senses, explained in clear terms why Francis was a poor choice in partner. He could imagine their laughter, James’ eye-opening realisation and that just made him more afraid. He loved James and he couldn’t face the idea that the man may not want him now, just as he was afraid the man may never love him at all. 

In a blur, the meeting was over, Francis quiet and distant through the whole thing. He could feel Edward’s concerned gaze piercing into the back of his head just as strongly as James gaze, but he couldn’t face either right now. He just wanted to crawl into bed and lament the failures of himself privately, didn’t want to hear how much of a failure of a partner and a captain he was. 

‘And with that, we shall be off. Francis, it was a delight seeing you. Shall we?’ Sir John was stood, smiling down at Francis in that way where he was judging you, measuring only faults. Francis stood, nodding at Sir John respectfully, even though he wanted to punch the man hard.

‘Actually, Sir John I would like to remain for a few days. I have some matters I would like to discuss with Francis and some of his men.’ Hearing James’ voice made him relax, though his words stressed him out. What would he have to say? Francis couldn’t live with the rejection; all his faults being thrown back in his face by the beautiful voice. 

‘I- well I suppose that is fine, so long as Francis is okay with it?’ Sir John gave him that raised eyebrow, clearly asking him to say no but Francis’ need to irritate the older man spoke for him. 

‘Of course, Commander Fitzjames is always welcome.’ Sir John frowned but said nothing further on the matter, just nodded and left with him, other officers. 

‘We can sort the next few hours so you and Commander Fitzjames can talk, Sir.’ Every aware Edward was watching him, waiting for his captain to say he did not want to be left alone with Fitzjames. 

‘Aye, that should be fine Edward, tell Jopson we shall be okay for tea and I will call on him later.’ Edward nodded, eyeing them both wearily before attending his duties, following the other officers out. ‘Shall we take this to the greatroom?’ Francis directed at James; he didn’t particularly want to be talking but if it had to happen, he would prefer to be hidden away from the men's’ prying eyes. 

‘Of course, lead the way.’ James sounded off, but Francis still refused to look him in the face, so he turned and lead them back to the greatroom, which was far tidier after Jopson’s mess from dressing him. Once inside, James closed the door and stood staring at Francis, who had moved straight to the sideboard that held the glasses. ‘Is now the right time for that, Francis?’

James’ disappointed voice made Francis pause, shame flooded him at the insinuation, but he continued pouring them both a glass before finally turning and facing the other man. James was scrutinising him from the door, so Francis put the cups down and took a seat. He watched as James’ eyes moved from him to the cups, watched as they widened and he looked at the sideboard behind Francis, finally looking him in the eye. 

‘It’s just water James, it won't bite.’ The joke fell flat, and Francis shifted uncomfortably under James gaze, he stared down at his cup and took a small sip. 

‘I’m sorry, that was rude of me to assume.’ James finally sat down, taking a sip of his own cup. Francis felt the clawing sensation of shame build again, of course, it was the assumption that when Francis Crozier stretched out a hand, alcohol was all he would reach for. ‘You won’t look at me.’ James’ tone was so flat and dead that the shameful feeling built higher. 

‘What do you want to talk about, James?’ Francis just wanted to get it over and done with, as soon as it was said he could retreat to his room and lick his wounds in private. Maybe Jopson would smile and tell him stories to make him feel better. 

‘I feel like there has been a terrible misunderstanding somewhere, but I am not quite sure where.’ James was looking at him with an expression that could only be described as heartbroken, it made Francis pause. ‘What are you thinking? Please, tell me?’ 

Francis was now confused, did James want him to be the one to say it? Or was he wrong about the whole thing? ‘I- I am confused. Why you stayed behind, I thought I knew what you wanted to talk about but I am afraid I was wrong.’

‘What did you think I was going to say, Francis?’ James’ expression made it clear that either Francis said, or they would stay here until he did. 

He weighed up his chances if he told the truth, but with a sigh said, ‘I thought you were going to break this off.’ He eyed the table intently, rubbing at the watermarks on the table while James said nothing. He was quiet for so long that Francis looked up in fear that the man had died, or silently fled. He had not, James was staring at him as tears fell steadily down his face. Surprised, Francis was on his feet and around the table in record time, pulling the other man into a tight embrace. James just grabbed onto his jacket, holding it in a tight grip like he was afraid to let go. 

After a few moments, James pulled away and wiped at his face. Francis was about to apologise when James spoke, ‘Why would you think that?’ The words came out husky, and Francis dragged a chair over so he could sit next to James in case he cried again. 

‘Insecurities mostly. I can only imagine what Sir John said to you, after. How you could do better or that you should. I’m afraid that he is right, or that you’ve finally seen for yourself that you can do better than me.’ 

James laughed, though it was not an amused one. ‘I told Sir John to mind his own business and to fuck off, Francis. I care for you; it would take more than words to stop that.’ James had taken his hand at some point, so Francis couldn’t hide his flinch when James said he cared. James did not miss the response, ‘What is it, Francis?’

‘It’s nothing,’ he tried, but broke off when James squeezed his hand, ‘You care for me, but you don’t love me.’ He stopped and waited for a response, but James was quiet. Taking this as an affirmation Francis tried to retreat but James refused to relinquish his hand, keeping him there. 

‘I don’t say love because it is too early for me. I can see myself loving you, being loved by you. What are you really afraid of, Francis?’ Francis could feel tears at his own eyes, fear gripping at him’ 

‘I’m afraid that you don’t want me.’ James let out a confused sound and Francis closed his eyes, hiding away from him. ‘You don’t want to mate with me.’ Francis felt awful, James had told him it was something he just wasn’t interested in but here he was being a needy omega, needing affirmation and proof that he was cared for. No wonder James didn’t want to mate him, why would he want people to know that he was trapped- Francis’ train of thought was halted by James pulling him into a hard kiss, it was different from any they had had before, much wetter because they were both crying now. 

Once released, James grabbed his face and looked him in the eye, ‘I would love to bond with you, idiot. What on earth made you think otherwise?’

‘You said it didn’t interest you.’

‘Francis, I told you I would prefer it the other way round, being taken. The thought of being claimed by you is my favourite dream and claiming you as mine. I would love to show the world that I was lucky enough to find you and be loved by you.’ James was stroking at his face now, wiping the tear tracks away. Francis moved into the touch, sighing happily. His insecurities weren’t gone but assuaged for the moment. 

‘Can we lay down for a bit?’ He asked quietly, and James smiled. 

‘Of course.’ He kissed him again, before pulling Francis to his feet and guiding him to the berth. James went to climb in, but Francis pulled him back, tugging at his uniform and huffing. He laughed happily, and started stripping off his uniform, then once he was naked, he pulled off Francis’. He pulled him under the covers and tucked them in, Francis cuddled into his arms making sure they were touching almost entirely. James kissed his forehead and Francis sighed happily, relaxing into James warmth. 

‘I love you.’ Francis whispered before falling asleep, feeling a ghost of James smile on his skin.


	10. In James' Mind

James struggled to fall asleep, so he opted to watch Francis, whose face was relaxed and wrinkle-free in his peaceful slumber. It made him sad to see how deeply insecure Francis felt and how much of it was because of Sir John. Sir John was a judgemental man, no matter how much he denied it, not judgemental about being alpha or omega, but he did find Francis lacking somewhere and made it clear in every interaction they had. 

He used to admire Sir John but now he found the man small and undeserving of the title he held. A captain was supposed to bring a crew together and be a father, or someone who cared for you and helped you grow. Sir John helped you so long as you weren’t doing better than him, then he put you down with words until you were back to where you started. 

He had seen this happen many times to Francis, and all James ever did was agree with Sir John assuming that Francis was just being melancholic. Francis did, of course, have faults but he had shown that he wanted to improve. James had felt awful when Francis had poured water for them, and he had cruelly jumped to the conclusion that the man was turning to whiskey. 

Francis had proven better than Sir John, listening rather than dismissing others’ views, beliefs or opinions, bonding with all the sailors under him, making sure he knew who was related to who, or they were friendly with. Francis loved him, even though he knew very little about his past, and James could actually believe it.

And James had been telling the truth when he said he could see himself loving Francis, he was probably already there. Truthfully, James didn’t know much about love, well at least familiar or romantic love. His father never showed it to him and made it very clear he was only a bastard child. 

What he did know, though, was self-love, cultivated from nothing as a child. He knew how to love nature, the world around him, tigers were his favourite and even though he was thousands of miles away from warmer climates he could still appreciate everything the arctic had to offer. Moreover, he loved seeing how much Francis love the arctic, how calm and at ease, he was here at the end of the world surrounded by his friends and loved ones. 

He saw the care and concern Francis had for Jopson, Little as well. Mr Blankey and Dr McDonald’s family love for Francis was enviable for James, he had never had that kind of relationship with others. He had Dundy of course, but even then, it got lonely being only the two of them. Now, with Francis James felt all that care and concern- love- from them all. He felt truly accepted, for himself, in a way his family never did. 

He could love Francis; he just wanted a little more time being selfish and revelling in all the new love he was now exposed to.


End file.
